I will ask you to suspend your disbelief for the duration of this article. Sit back, relax and let me tell you a story. It isn’t a happy story. Not by a mile. In fact, it’s tragic. It might seem at times like what happens when God goes to sleep and has a bad dream. That’s me. I’m God’s nightmare. But that’s okay. Because that means God has to wake up. I’m screaming and I’m crying for my Father in heaven. I’ve given Him what He desired most in all of creation. A new experience. Now He knows Himself better…

I’m writing this out of desperation so frantic and so profound that I’m afraid it might consume me before I get the chance to tell my story. My name is Silas Freedman and I am a ghost. No, we’re not ready for that yet. Let me back up. I was standing on the edge of my pool, preparing to hop in and swim a few laps when I felt this sharp pain in the side of my head. A second later I blacked out. Three minutes later I was dead. No. I’m sorry. Be patient with me. I usually write…

I’ve been told I am unimpressive. This struck a nerve and wounded my fragile pride. Didn’t they know who they were talking to? A man so sensitive he tries to get stitches for paper cuts. A man so averse to criticism that if you roll your eyes in his general direction he won’t sleep for a week. A man so gosh darn egotistical that he thinks the sun is for him and the moon is for everyone else. This accusation is simply factually inaccurate. I am, and always have been, impressive. I will either impress you with my toughness, my…

You said you were felt blessed to be so sad because it meant you were a dues-paying member of the human family, suffering and sacrificing for the love of the game I refused to chase after you When you ran from me, through the tall grass and into the dark woods you would laughingly beckon me onwards But I would never come I stayed on my porch and I smoked and I stared and smiled a wry smile Eventually you came back, you always came back, you had to You told me you couldn’t bear to be alone, because if…

The creatures I’ve loved most in this world, loved more than life itself, I’ve buried in the backyard I don’t have fond memories of them I think about their suffering, I think about their deaths, I think about their empty shells that every wise person says I was too quick to get attached to They told me my love for animals is unique At least I can love I kiss dogs’ cheeks and cats’ paws I apologize to them and ask for their forgiveness when I step on them by accident I locked my cat in the basement and it…

Pills, booze, a blizzard and a broken heart I just told my mother I was sick because of the poison she had running through her veins I was trying to wound her, I was trying to wound myself, I was trying to speak my truth I had been in hell and I had been alienated from a God that was either non-existent or indifferent That couldn’t bless me, release me, free me, heal me, hug me when I was cold, and I was so cold I was buried up to my waist in a snowbank just waiting to die But…

Light and dark, there’s stone cold killers on both sides of this war/the whole debacle is rotten to its core/both sides want me dead, on this point they agree/order and chaos combining in their mutual hatred of me?/they’re going to take my life? are they going to come get it or are they going to watch me drown?/the light are the ones who turned my whole world upside down/now I have to sit here and write or they’ll execute me, is that who you are?/I’m better running off this road and just crashing this car/I don’t give a shit about…

This is for all the people who found solace in the Word/this is for all the people paying off debts they never incurred/this is for all the people who have ever wondered what happens while this world is asleep/ignorance may be costly, but at the same time, knowledge isn’t cheap/they’re digging deep until their shovels are sparking against rock/but I’ve gone deeper, to the quiet room beyond hell, you say rubbish/but I’ve been there, it’s for those who are too insane to be punished/they play chess forever and a moment, sacrificing pawns and checkmated kings/this game grants them lucidity and…