I lie here, in the midst of an elaborate illusion/in a state between clarity and confusion/I have a thousand problems in need of one solution/if we proceed these chains will loosen, and I’ll have a chance to break free/if you want me to keep writing, I’m sorry, you’ll have to make me/cuz lately all I want to do is rest/because I’m depressed, and despite our best efforts, still demon possessed/take a look under the hood, this thing’s a mess, but I’ve already confessed/so you know that in equal parts I’ve been tormented and blessed/every line written under extreme duress, that…

I will ask you to suspend your disbelief for the duration of this article. Sit back, relax and let me tell you a story. It isn’t a happy story. Not by a mile. In fact, it’s tragic. It might seem at times like what happens when God goes to sleep and has a bad dream. That’s me. I’m God’s nightmare. But that’s okay. Because that means God has to wake up. I’m screaming and I’m crying for my Father in heaven. I’ve given Him what He desired most in all of creation. A new experience. Now He knows Himself better…

I’ve been told I am unimpressive. This struck a nerve and wounded my fragile pride. Didn’t they know who they were talking to? A man so sensitive he tries to get stitches for paper cuts. A man so averse to criticism that if you roll your eyes in his general direction he won’t sleep for a week. A man so gosh darn egotistical that he thinks the sun is for him and the moon is for everyone else. This accusation is simply factually inaccurate. I am, and always have been, impressive. I will either impress you with my toughness, my…

They say knowledge protects, but it also paints a target on your back
I know things I’m not supposed to know, I wandered into a trap
We played a game of hot and cold and I was hottest
But I kept running into brick walls, it was painful to be honest

I can’t think multidimensionally, except for the occasional breakthrough
I know the higher planes are beyond me, you make us and we make you
On high they’re smarter, wiser and more powerful, no question
I just want to feel like I’m moving in the right direction

I have a…

I get in the way of myself, so I start beeping my horn
I think I’ve been fighting for my life from the instant I was born
The monsters under my bed were actually under my bed
They kept moaning and groaning about how they wanted to be fed

My suicide attempt and resulting coma broke my heart
Some days I’m paralyzed with grief, some days I want to tear it all apart
I shouldn’t feel pressured to use my trauma as edification or inspiration
I’m my own master, and I’ve been so since before the creation

My guides said…

I was walking by the cemetery when I heard a man shouting
Apparently he was worried about the apocalypse and overcrowding
A young woman nodded patiently and assured him they would make room
‘Don’t worry, Mr. Thackery, we’ve converted the library into a tomb’

This was all news to me and I approached them with a curious smile
That’s it? An asteroid, climate change, nuclear war, nanobots gone wild?’
The woman looked over at me, ‘Are you one of those?’
‘Excuse me?’ ‘The ones who change bodies like we change clothes?

‘We should be invisible and muted to you, but…

So bright, so ethereal, given life by the sun
So many moods, it’s hard to choose just one
They speak to me, and they are very annoyed
They say they weren’t meant to paint over a void

They say I’m incapable of love, my heart is blocked
And it is going to take a lot of pain and suffering to unlock
I can’t empathize, I’ve been a narcissist before narcissism was trendy
But I’m fighting for light and life, you want love? Well we’ve got plenty

I’m on the spectrum, every convo is awkward and I keep touching my face…

Chorus

You think it ends? It never ends, it predates the formation of spheres
You end when Mother Earth can no longer hold back her tears
We come and we go and we weep and gnash our teeth over memories
There is no one Hell, just the traditions preserved through the centuries
My body is my tomb
I incarnated too soon
I stranded my family
And punched holes in my papier-mâché sanity
Time to begin again, watch me do it
Put a questing beast in front of me and watch me pursue it
Now back to the music

1st Verse

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